I just receive rejection letter from nus. I m kinda mentally prepared for that. I dont feel disappointed but more of regret. I regretted applying nus, waste of my effort, time n $.  I rather spend more to watch movie n buy a big burger to munch.

I didnt know its so hard to get into uni. And i finally know how it feels when i cant get what i want. Its usually during the critical time that ppl start to face failure. Maybe thats the reason why it is considered as failure. 

Ever since when i was choosing sec sch, class, poly and specialization, i always manage to get into my first choice. Yet now this rejection letter makes me feel lousy. Real lousy. lolz. It dont really matter now.

I dont wish to evaluate my life based on the qualification of my education level. Moreover a degree cant determine how far i can go. How i wish my dad can see what i have written here so that he wont feel upset.

Nonetheless, i dont live alone in my world. To tell the truth i dont wish to go uni. haha. Since thats what my dad wants, so i applied. U may think that i dont have my own perspective but i have one primary purpose in life; to please God, and a secondary purpose; to make my family happy.

It dont kill me to study more, but it will hurt my parent when they know diploma is the limit i can go. sigh. I wonder whether they are able to sleep tonight...

I can definitely sleep well cuz i know God has a safe place for me to dwell. I m glad that i m optimistic enough. hahaha. Hope i can influence my parent too.

Isnt an obedient girl good enough?

We celebrated Ah Ma's 80th bday  =D


eating 寿桃...

my ah ma is camera shy =X



we replace bday cake with this 寿桃



here comes the 寿面...

寿桃+寿面=长寿
Hope that this is true. Lolz.


Alright

here comes the geeks!

I had a nightmare last night. Totally hate dreams!

I dreamt of my ah ma

She seems to have diffculty with breathing

So she took out a huge syringe

And was struggling to push the piston in

in order to inject air into her mouth. 

After pushing a few times, she stopped,  because she does not have enough strength to continue.

I was panick and ran to her immediately.

I tried to help her but no improvement was shown.

I couldnt find anyone else in the room

This really gets on my nerve.

I keep wailing... "Ah ma pls dont go" 

Just when i wipe off my tears to look at her,

It was her last breath.

And out of fear, i woke up.

I can still feel the pain in my throat as if i had really wailed.

At that moment i recalled that i have dreamt of murdering my uncle, and now he was gone.

This cause a great distress to me. 

sigh

I quickly made a prayer.

and called my ah ma.

I  have never wanted to hear her voice so much before.

Thank God she was fine now.

But i still feel insecure. Who knows what will happen tml?

I really hope that God wont take away my ah ma so soon.